Happy Friday! This week’s guest is Agatha Bird. Thanks, Agatha.
1) You get a private tour of any historic site in the world—what’s your destination?
Does it have to be a site that still exists? Because I would give my theoretical first born to wander around the Royal Library of Alexandria. As a librarian, it’s the holy mecca of my people. Of course, I couldn’t read any of the languages, and I was crap at Ancient Greek in college, so I’d hope my tour guide was a decent translator. If the Library is disqualified on the basis that a time machine is currently unavailable, then I’m going to be cliché and say Stonehenge. I want my tour guide to be a secret Druidic descendant with even more secret knowledge of the site and its arcane workings. (My life would be so much more interesting if I wrote it.)
2) Are you a compulsive keeper or ridder of things?
A Ridder of Things is actually the title of my next book. (It’s not, but wouldn’t that be awesome? Some kind of magical garbage man…) I am one of the least sentimental people on the planet, so I have very few keepsakes. I also have a rule that if I haven’t used it in a year, it goes away. I try to donate things to charity (or unsuspecting coworkers) before I resort to throwing it out. I moved into a new place at the beginning of the summer and did some serious cleansing, which makes me feel light and free. Plus, the less stuff you have to move, the better. The one exception to this: books. Their numbers only grow.
3) Cherries: sweet or tart?
Sweet! My friends have lovingly bestowed the nickname “Hummingbird” upon me because of my preference for sweet things. (Usually alcohol.) I like sickly sweet cherry pie, maraschino cherries at the bottom of my beverage, and cherry slushies.
4) What is your favorite word?
My favorite word is probably dangit. It’s my most-uttered phrase, and it’s incredibly versatile. You can imbue so much into a single “dangit.” (And you can dress it up to “golldangit” if you’re feelin’ frisky.) The word reminds me of my very southern grandma, who had a lexicon of Arkansas-inspired phrases that I love to pepper in here or there. The word ridiculous comes in a close second. It pairs well with “dangit” and leaves a faint, nutty aftertaste.
5) Is there a subject you’re fascinated with but not many people know you’re so interested in?
I love, love, love Halloween makeup and face painting. Some of my closest friends are very aware of this, and run away at the beginning of October so they are not subjected to my madness. I usually start planning my elaborate Halloween costumes a year in advance, and I watch countless hours of facepainting videos on YouTube every week. It is a sickness. I’m subscribed to at least five face painting channels, and if you sit still near me long enough, I’ll try to put makeup on you. In another life, I would have been an FX makeup artist instead of an enthusiastic amateur. Prop making, mold making, crazy creature design makeup — IT’S THE BEST. (I’m sure a lot of this can be traced back to my unhealthy love of monsters. Most things can.)
Agatha Bird grew up in sunny, swampy Florida where she still lives with two ridiculously named cats. She told fibs when she was a kid, but now she tells stories. (Plus, storyteller sounds way better than professional liar.) She subsists on a steady diet of sunflower seeds, tea, books, and terrible puns. Libraries are her natural habitat, and she reaches her full power once a year on Halloween. She believes in wereyorkies, the full moon, and true romance. She loves monsters, magic, bad guys, and happy endings, preferably all in one story. She thinks frog princes are totally overdone, so she stares a little too longingly at alligators. One has yet to stare longingly back.